Commoner's Ramen
by pink-strawberries
Summary: NarutoXOuran HSHC crossover. When the simplistically common village of Konoha is graced by the presence of six attractive and insanely rich males plus Haruhi S ranked missions and taking down the Akatsuki suddenly seemed like a walk in the park.


**Summary:** [NarutoXOuran High School Host Club crossover. When the simplistically common (not entirely) village of Konoha is graced by the presence of six overwhelmingly attractive and insanely rich males (plus Haruhi), S-ranked missions and taking down the Akatsuki suddenly seemed like a walk in the park.

**Disclaimer:** I own neither the awesomeness of Naruto, nor the affluently grand Ouran High School Host Club.

**AN:** The story takes place after Sasuke returns from his goal to avenge his clan aka kick the shit out of his brother Itachi and all the Akatsuki shebang.

Team 7 are now all 17.

If you do not know of the beauty that is Ouran HSHC then you have most likely been stuck under a rock. Anyway to clarify any incomprehension, the popular shojo centralises around the adventures of a group of six (awe-inspiringly) handsome young high school students and the ignoble scholarship student Fujioka Haruhi. Haruhi is in reality a female cross-dresser who is monetarily coerced into joining the Host Club to pay off her debt.

**IMPORTANT:** I know that the Naruto universe uses the ryou currency, but I'm not entirely sure how you are supposed to convert it, since it's rather a primitive monetary system. So I decided to use yen in place of the ryou (savvy?)

In concurrence with merging the modern environment portrayed in Ouran High School Host Club, I decided to stick with the yen currency. I apologize if it contradicts with canon.

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**Commoner's Ramen**

**Chapter One: 2500 yen mineral water**

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_2500 yen is roughly equivalent to $25 (USD)_

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Score.

Naruto had always from his birth been endowed with what one may call a sixth sense. It was the uncanny ability to literally FEEL a certain tingling sensation when something exciting or dire was about to occur. The only problem was that there was no differentiation between the two, but he was fairly certain that the morning shivers now indicated that something wonderful was about to occur.

Perhaps Ichiraku was going to give him an all-you-can-eat spree on his favourite ramen, his mouth was salivating with the image. Beef ramen, chicken ramen, miso-

"I'm giving you lot a mission"

Or Naruto and his team were about to receive the most mind boggling, adrenaline pumping mission of their entire ninja careers.

"It's an S-rank mission, and since you five are a few of the top ANBU and Jounin in Konoha I'm positive you will be able to handle it". The Godaime looked at the esteemed Team Seven with an encouraging and admiring look that lucidly showed her pride at the group of elite ninja.

"YEA, dattebayo!" the blond haired ANBU pumped his fist into the air and stretched his cheeks in a wide, toothy smile.

"I knew that my sixth sense was never wrong, man this is gonna be awesome. We are totally gonna kick some ass-"

"Shut up dobe, it's not like we've never gone on S-ranked missions before. But then again you're still a loser, so they probably avoided giving you challenging missions. Hn" Sasuke taunted Naruto with a condescending smirk that adorned his attractive countenance.

His remark immediately channelled an explosive reaction from his rival, who jumped on him with fists and threats. "TEME, I'm gonna punch your lights out".

The two best friends tumbled to the floor of the Hokage's office in an ungraceful, tangled mess that seriously contravened with their prestigious ninja reputations. Naruto had managed to rapidly sock Sasuke in the jaw, while the onyx haired ANBU kicked his foot in Naruto's whiskered face.

Their brawl was cut short by their stubborn pink haired team mate who used her inhuman strength to rip them apart and throw them to opposite walls. Both had managed to resist a painful collision with the wall, but at a single glance of Sakura's enraged face, had decided to evade death by stopping their fight.

"Cut it out you two idiots, how you had managed to become ANBU with such behaviour is beyond me" she glared at Naruto, and then turned to the other side to send Sasuke an equally threatening expression.

Naruto looked at his female friend with a nervous tremor as he was not unaccustomed with her inexplicable power. Sasuke on the other hand just kept up a blasé face and chose to act neutral, despite the slowly blooming bruise on his jaw.

If someone had prophesised that Sakura would be the one to stop their fights and scold both Naruto and her precious Sasuke-kun in their genin years, team seven would have scoffed unbelievingly. Yet many years later and a successful medic-nin in her own right, her change in mannerisms continue to stun Sasuke, not that he would ever admit to it.

The emotionless Sai stood beside Sakura and stared unblinkingly at the scene that had unfolded, while Kakashi made subtle peeks from behind his orange book.

Tsunade gave a proud smirk to Sakura for displaying her astute maturity and thwarting her immature team mates from destroying the Hokage's office. _Take that Jiraiya and Orochimaru._ She then cleared her throat to gain their attention once more.

"This is a paramount and highly classified security and escort mission. Seven high school students from the prestigious Ouran Academy have decided to visit Konoha for an educational tour-"

"What the hell baa chan! I thought it was kick-ass S-ranked mission, why the hell are we doing D-ranks by babysitting kids" Naruto aggressively shouted.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Naruto's got a point. Escort missions are usually B ranked, or below why is it that this one is S-ranked?" Sakura drew out inquiringly at her mentor.

"Well if you had let me finish, then maybe you would realise the reason why this mission is so special" she glared pointedly at the angry expression of Naruto's dissatisfaction, while Sakura withdrew in a sheepish grimace

"First of all they are hardly kids, the youngest are only a year below you four, while the oldest are a year above"

"Then why the hell do they still go to school, they must be really stupid or something-"

"NARUTO" Tsunade slammed her fist against the desk, subsequently creating a crack that ran in the middle of the wood.

"As I was saying the seven of them are from Ouran Academy, which is the most affluent and prominent school for civilians in the country, and unlike ninja's who graduate around the age of twelve, their education spans for far longer and encompasses a far broader variety of study".

"Students from the school are all members of the upper hierarchy in society and many of them are the progeny of aristocracy. In fact, most of the group that are coming to Konoha are heirs to their family's corporations, which in turn have close economic relationships with our village".

Naruto looked blatantly unconvinced and rather vexed as he muttered a few insults at the prospective 'nobles'. "Stupid rich bastards" his eyes narrowed in dislike and Sakura had to jab in the ribs to stop his low ranting.

The Godaime sighed and rubbed her forehead in anxiety.

"I know you might be put off right now from the description that I just gave you, because their upbringing and heritage are starkly different from yours"

"But give them a chance, you might turn out to like them and even if you don't, I don't care because they are paying big money to get the protection they require."

"Being socially elite means they are obvious targets for mercenaries and potential kidnappers, so I want you all to be on constant surveillance"

"However they have also paid extra for you to act as tour guides, because this is also an ambassadorial visit to further strengthen Konoha's economical relationships. So you will be taking them on educational excursions, and help them assimilate into Konoha's society".

Sakura shot Naruto a warning glance which hindered him from making more crass remarks about the 'rich bastards'. "Ano Tsunade-sama, how long will we be expected to protect them?"

"A week, but your mission does not end there. You are expected to escort them back to their school at the end of their visit, to further guarantee their safety."

The five man team nodded in comprehension, while Naruto just bobbed his head in capitulation, obviously still peeved about the lack of action the mission seemed to contain. "As for the team leader, I'm appointing it to Sakura as she is most adequate to lead this mission".

This time it was Sasuke who looked a little sour at being bettered by Sakura, and the inferiority of having to follow her commands. Tsunade handed the scroll over to her and winked conspicuously.

"Of course her skills as a ninja aren't the only reasons she is most suitable for the job" she spoke with a sly tone as a mischievous smirk rose to her lips.

The younger team members blinked in confusion, while Kakashi held a suspicious gleam in his visible eye. But before any of them could ask her about what she was implying, she waved them off with her right hand.

"They will be arriving in two hours; you are to meet them at the gates where your mission begins. Now go away". With her dismissal the five bowed before poofing off to their respective homes to prepare for a simple mission; or so they thought.

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The afternoon sun was shining merrily on the four arrivals who managed to arrive at the Konoha gates at the designated time. Unsurprisingly the elder jounin had not yet come as per usual and Sakura was getting rather annoyed at her other three male team mates, who had decided to start a stare-glare-smile insincerely contest.

Naruto was in the middle and pouted angrily at Sasuke while trying to simultaneous shoot daggers at Sai, who had a rather strained smile plastered on his alabaster face. Sasuke continued with his typical look of complete indifference and focussed his attention to the immobile gates instead of the others.

'Poof', the smoke quickly subsided to reveal their silver haired sensei "Yo" he lifted his hands in greeting while reading his latest edition of Icha Icha.

"You're late!" a male and female voice accused in sync, while Kakashi rubbed his head distractingly. "Well you know, there was a cute puppy that was abandoned-"his obviously fabricated lie was abruptly cut off by a high pitched feminine scream.

Their ninja senses kicked in as they quickly reached for their respective weapons and Sasuke turned on his sharingan. The scream had originated from a young civilian who had dropped her grocery bags while pointing at the object that was arriving through the wide green gates.

A majestic double line of wide-hoofed horses entered at a decelerating pace into the village pulling what was the most captivating carriage that Sakura had ever had the privilege of seeing. The exterior was composed of a rich cream base lined by gold plating of intricately woven waves and floral patterns, the carriage looked like a moving castle from the pages of a fairy tale and radiated opulence.

"Holy fuck" Naruto's jaw was almost hanging down as his eyes stretched comically when he saw the sheer size and beauty of the horse drawn carriage. Suddenly he recomposed himself and returned to his scowl while reiterating his mantra of 'fucking rich bastards' under his breath.

"Well, they certainly know how to travel in style" Kakashi offered and Sakura could only half-heartedly nod in agreement; she was still very much enchanted by the sight. A heavy crowd had started gather in eager anticipation around the carriage and the grocery that was dropped in alarm still littered the dirt ground forgotten.

The windows were veiled by thick navy curtains and obstructed the view of the (very) rich gentlemen inside. The suspense caused the crowd to shift closer in hopes to gain a glance at who was inside, yet the small army of men dressed completely in black uniforms with equally black masks made a barrier between the people and the carriage.

A lanky middle aged man dressed in a royal blue suit with black trousers that were designed for riding jumped down from his position at the head of the carriage and made his way to the door. He elegantly pulled it open with practiced efficiency and bowed his head in respect to the occupants of the carriage.

"We're here Suou-sama"

A loudly audible gasp ran through the crowd and Sakura's own mouth was dangling in an undignified position. The effect was similar to being plunged into a wide scoped genjutsu, where victims become hypnotized and subsequently suffer from the scatter-brain syndrome.

If masculine perfection and feminine beauty were ever to merge in a congruous combination, it would undoubtedly be in the form of the golden blond, violet eyed male who had stepped out. Yet the spectacle did not end with his entrance, six more similarly handsome, yet different men followed after, two of them were even identical.

Talk about the element of surprise, they had utilised their fantastically dazzling attractiveness to stun team seven, well the female member anyway.

Naruto just looked like he was ready to burst in outrage; his previous mantra was replaced by "fuking pretty boys, like Sasuke-teme". The latter part of the comment was met with a hard glare by the subject, but other than that Sasuke looked rather unaffected by the sight. Perhaps pretty guys just didn't affect each other so much as everyone else.

Before Sakura could properly compose herself she found her hand being delicately caressed by the blond male, while an impeccably blooming rose was thrust under her nose.

"Such undeniable beauty that shines incandescently before my very eyes" if possible Sakura's gape widened as the handsome male leaned down to dust a fleeting kiss upon her hand.

"I am Suou Tamaki, and may I be fortunate enough to be graced with your own name?" his eyes seemed to glow with their own light, _were those tears?_

"Ah- Haruno S-sa-kura" suddenly she was reduced to a stuttering mess of pink blushes and dizzy, unfocused eyes.

"Sakura-hime" he beamed a warm smile at her, while behind her she could faintly hear a strangled scoff, perhaps it was Naruto, whoever it was, she was going to make sure that they will find their whole lives flashing past their eyes.

As rapidly as Tamaki had approached her, his captivating deep purple eyes were replaced by two sets of amber irises and spiky red hair. Their lips formed an eerily mischievous grin, while simultaneously drawing out identical roses and presenting it to her. _Where the hell did they get the flowers from? _

"Forgive our tono Sakura-san, he can be a bit forward sometimes. Especially when he sees beauty of such calibre" the two identical twins chorus simultaneously, their eyes gleaming enthusiastically.

Transfixed by their attractiveness, Sakura's extensive years of ninja training as a reputable medic-nin under the Hokage herself did not prepare her for the dual kiss the twins planted on her cheek (very near her mouth indeed). As quickly as the act, Sakura's face exploded with a violent blush.

In the background Naruto was fuming in unsustainable anger. But he was physically restrained by Kakashi to prevent the massacre of rich blood.

"LET ME GO, KAKASHI-SENSEI. I'M GONNA BASH THOSE BASTARDS FOR SEXUALLY HARRASING SAKURA-CHAN". Naruto screamed with his face equally red, yet for an entirely different reason.

Surprising four of the seven handsome males retracted in fear, with the shortest of them crying rivers of tears. While the brown haired androgynous high schooler rolled his eyes in vexation at his peer's dramatics.

Next the intelligent and pristine raven haired male stepped forward and pushed up his thin glasses and tucked his black notebook under his arm. "It is a pleasure to meet you all. I am Ootori Kyoya, of class 2A at Ouran Private Academy" he orated with a perfected eloquence holding a toothless smile while ignoring the hysterics that were occurring behind him.

Kyoya then proceeded to finish the introductions, when the ninjas made no reactions. He was rather disgruntled by their obvious lack of propriety, yet did not show it._ Do they not know that those of a lower social standing were supposed to introduce themselves first?_

Pointing at the dark haired senior, "That is Morinozuka Takashi-sempai, and the blond beside him is Haninozuka Mitsukuni-sempai. They are both respectable seniors of class 3A".

The extremely tall black haired senior made a curt nod and the bawling minute blond abruptly stopped his tears and channelled a sunny smile at the ninjas. Sakura sweat dropped at his volatility, while admiring his exuberant cuteness.

At this cue, the twins also finished their melodramatic tears and smiled specifically at Sakura. "We are the Hitachiin brothers, Hikaru and Kaoru" their simultaneous introductions did not differentiate between them, but the typical sparkle in their looks hinted at a mischievous reasoning behind it.

In a backwards leap they hooked their arms around a shorter brunette and pulled her towards Sakura. "This is the special, brilliant and amazing Fujioka Haruhi. The scholarship student who is in the same class as we are 1A and is our best friend"

At this they turned around and gave Tamaki a pointed smirk evoking an immediate reaction. He rushed forward to try and pry Haruhi away from the duo, while rolling out threats and patronisations of their 'unscrupulous behaviour'.

Haruhi ignored their excessive attention towards him (her) and pulled out of the twins grasp. He then walked up to Sakura and gave her a genuinely natural smile. The pink haired ninja smiled back sheepishly, while studying the beauty of the male before her. His entire countenance was so delicately… well, pretty. He had an androgynous face with impossibly long lashes that curled upwards in a doll-like fashion, which fanned his large expressive eyes.

The scrutiny was cut short when Haruhi stared back obliviously when Sakura continued to stare at him. "Ah-h, it's very nice to meet you" she stuttered to try and calm her own embarrassment, causing Haruhi to smile again in amity.

Sakura took charge of introducing her peers who all looked rather petulant with their new charges. But she glared silently at them in warning so that they would make a friendly response. Even the angry-faced Naruto stopped his path of fury to momentarily reply a greeting when he saw his female team mate's visage. _Scary._

By this point the crowd was brimming with ecstatic females who were gaping in eager anticipation at the new rich bachelors. They were vainly trying to rampage past the guards while their eyes burned with a strange fire-like quality, that was not unlike Lee's declarations of 'youth'.

It was official.

The women of Konoha were now reduced to a puddle of obscenely crazy, gold-digging, superficial fanatics. Drawn in by the visitor's uncommon beauty and lavishness, all dignity (however small) was lost.

The men of Team seven (well Naruto and Kakashi) sighed in defeat. It was the whole Sasuke-kun ordeal all over again, except this time multiplied by seven.

Sakura shook her head to empty herself of fangirly thoughts and proceeded to start the mission, rather eager to escape from the hordes of admirers. _Well they are extremely, completely, totally hot… _

"It is understood that you will be staying at your own private estate" she remembered from the mission scroll.

"Yes, we will be residing at the Ootori summer estate for the duration of our stay" Kyoya replied automatically, while the rest of the Host Club lit up in excitement.

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The journey to the private estate was unsurprisingly hectic.

It was like an over-publicized royal parade down the streets of Konoha.

Despite the meticulously pre-planned route using the more secluded streets, incessant crowds of people followed the carriage. The private guards had their hands full trying to halt any attempts of pouncing civilians and team seven travelled alongside the slow vehicle in a protective formation.

As the roads became narrower and the buildings less frequent, the annoying crowd of people started to dwindle in number.

They were nearing the private regions of Konoha, where the opulent resided comfortably.

Naruto (almost enviously) noted how the surroundings started to be more scenic and grand. The side maples stood proudly in a conspicuously flaunting manner, with a less natural and a more impeccable look. They were groomed constantly and presented in a neat fashion that natural trees lacked.

This wasn't a region where normal 'commoners' were permitted to linger; hence the team had never been here. Most ninja's, even those of prestigious clans did not have the fortunate privilege to dwell in these private neighbourhoods.

A generic ninja's pay check simply did not allow them to preside in such supercilious wealth.

The carriage and crew momentarily stopped at the gates which were proudly emblazed with the Ootori crest. But soon the tall metal barriers slid open and they felt the fleeting disappearance of a strong, yet old chakra.

The estate was protected by a powerful jutsu that was most likely of ancient origins.

Yet nothing in the world could possibly have prepared them for the sight of the Ootori's summer estate.

It was nothing short of spectacular, a truly splendid architectural establishment with decoratively stylish columns and a picturesque row of evergreens leading to the majestic castle-like mansion.

Both Sakura and Naruto shamelessly admired the beautiful estate with wide eyes and open mouths. Sasuke wasn't particularly appreciative, after all the Uchihas' have their fair share of extravagant properties (although they were less pretty, and rather more plain).

When the carriage reached the front end of the estate, the same procession occurred where the loyal carriage-man opened the door for the Host Club. Each of them stepped out gracefully with proper etiquette, completely different to the boisterous entrances Naruto makes, or the withdrawn presence Sasuke seems to exude and definitely not the 'poofs' that Kakashi uses.

Really, after witnessing the actions of the Host Club ninjas just seem like utter savages.

With a timed flurry the wide doors to the mansion opened and the members of the Host Club entered eagerly. When team seven made no move, Kyoya turned around and gestured at them to follow.

"Welcome Ootori-sama and his honoured friends" the head butler enunciated. His crisp, creaseless uniform presented unequivocal dignity as the group was led down the marble floors towards the parlour.

The interior of the estate was equally grand as the exterior, where pure white walls and cream floors complemented each other to perfection. In the very middle was a polished stairway that led to the upper floors and crystalline chandeliers dangled sublimely from the high ceiling.

"Man, these people are crazy rich" Naruto quietly choked through gritted teeth and Sasuke just rolled his eyes at the redundant statement.

Once they had reached the very grand (obviously) parlour where oil paintings hung on the walls and thick, heavy organza curtains were pulled back to reveal the lush scenery through inhuman sized windows. Plush couches were organized in a circular fashion in the middle and the Host Club ushered team seven there.

Almost immediately Tamaki was enthusiastically sprouting trivial, over romanticized words at the startled ninjas. Sakura immediately took a liking to their bubbly personalities; they were certainly a refreshing change from the usual elusive, refrained and taciturn ninjas she was accustomed to. They were more akin to Naruto, except with far more flair and grace.

"You are of course welcome to stay here and your rooms will be designated shortly" Kyoya told team seven professionally, as he took on the role as the master of the household.

A group of organized maids presented the Host Club and team seven with trolleys of food as they stood to serve them.

"Please help yourselves to the refreshments" Kyoya pointed to silver trolleys completely dedicated to offering beverages and snacks of countless different types. Sakura wasn't sure if she had ever seen such a large display of 'refreshments' before even at the supermarkets in Konoha.

As soon as he offered, Naruto dove desperately for the bottle of water that sat (like everything else) beautifully on the refreshments table. In a half tear and half pull attempt to literally rip the cap off the pretty glass bottle he hungrily took a mouthful of the refreshing water. _Maybe rich people's stuff was better tasting than the cheap stuff._

But at the exact moment he couldn't care less about the blasted quality of the water, he was damn thirsty after spending the whole day gaping at the extravagance of their new charge's wealth.

"That would be 2500 yen" the statement was concluded by a crisp snap of Kyoya's black book as he smiled amiably; almost too amiably at Naruto. The light reflected off his glasses to complete his mysterious look.

"WHAT?!" Naruto sprayed his entire mouthful into the face of a livid Sasuke and the expensive bottle of uncommon spring, mineral water dropped on the ground in shock.

The remainder of the (expensive) liquid poured out of the glass and stained the plush burgundy rug a darker shade.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW CAN A FUCKING BOTTLE OF WATER BE THAT EXPENSIVE?" he screamed at a smirking Kyoya, while the twins latched onto each other chuckling at the new form of entertainment.

Sasuke was nearly steaming in rage, but only managed to contain himself due to the prospect of bankruptcy if he decided to release his anger and deck Naruto, subsequently breaking property (although his Uchiha fortunes was extremely substantial, he was unwilling to take chances).

Tamaki could only make spluttering noises at the crass behaviour and language Naruto was displaying, while Haruhi spared him a rare glance of pity. After all she was very accustomed to the cunning shrewdness of the 'Shadow King', being an unfortunate victim of inadvertent debt herself.

"One would think that an experienced commoner, such as yourself would be more wary of their actions, as nothing in the world is free", Kyoya pushed up his glasses with his forefinger before continuing.

The cordial smile on his face grew "It is understandable if you are unable to pay currently, and I am more than willing to put it on debt" his tone was suspiciously light, almost as though he was insinuating the prospect of Naruto becoming (asininely) further in debt to him.

"Not to mention, you are awfully lucky the beverage you had chosen to consume was water, because your carelessness has caused an unsightly stain on the antique rug". He added.

The comment caused Naruto to blanch into a pallid, almost Sasuke-like shade, he didn't even want to imagine how much money the frickin' rug would cost. He inwardly groaned and fought the urge to Rasengan the Ootori heir before him, instead resigning himself mutely cussing profanities at his 'stingy rich bastardness'.

The notion almost brought tears to Naruto's eyes, the thought of spending all his precious ramen money on well…water, and the worst part was he never actually got to drink any of it. Suddenly the glistening crystalline drops of water on the floor started to look extremely appetising.

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_Anosa,__how much was the toilet paper again?_

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So how was that? I know meshing Ouran and Naruto together isn't exactly compatible since they are of different genres and practically separate worlds, but I thought the idea was rather cute and then this story started to bloom in my mind.

**AN:** The story is going to be around 8-9 chapters, each one portraying one of the seven days of the mission, with another chapter or so depicting the escort mission back to Ouran.

Also the '2500 yen mineral water' is canon to Ouran HSHC, as shown in chapter 45 when Haruhi is visiting the Hitachiin mansion.

**Next chapter**: the revelation of Haruhi's true gender, and a chaotic visit to the commoner's supermarket. Oh dear!


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